Funny Humour
by the-girl-with-the-eyes
Summary: New Year's Eve night. The guys get drunk off of eggnog.. oh my o.O. What is Amber going to do with them?


~Just some plain Gundam Wing Humour~  
  
"Again we're cooped up in this miserable Safe House while Oz is on the watch and search for us. AND It's raining! What could get worse!?" Duo complained, flipping television channels with the remote from the couch. "Oh. I know. Lets ignore the fact that it's SUPPOSED to be New Years." "It's been a few years since peace has been obtained, Duo. You should be happy." Quatre tried to cheer up the child-like, braided pilot. He came out from the kitchen with a tray and six, rather large, cups of eggnog. "Who wants eggnog?" "Oi. Winner, you onna. Wasting around in the kitchen." Wufei shook his head, "Injustice." "If making eggnog is 'onna'-icious, then I suppose cleaning is just very.. very.. masculine." Duo retorted in Quatre's defense. Wufei dropped the polish rag in shock. "I'm the only one keeping this place CLEAN, Maxwell!" Duo just slumped back into the couch and flipped through channels once more. "This can't get any more worse than it is." His eyes brightened as a football game appeared on the television. "Sugoi!" As he blarred the volume and grabbed an eggnog, Heero stormed through his room and down the hall. "OMAE O KOROSU! Turn that DOWN!" Just as the all-mighty Heero had screamed this at Duo, the power went out. Only making Heero fly into more of a rage. "My files! They weren't saved!" Duo chuckled, "Serves you right for yelling at a man and his football." "Shut up, Duo." "Shut up, Duo." Duo mocked in a higher pitched, girly voice. He took a sip of his eggnog and smiled, "Lighten up." "Hn. I will do nothing of the sort. YOU need to darken up. Mature." Quatre blinked, "Eggnog, Heero?" Heero waved Quatre off as Trowa walked by, grabbing two eggnogs, stuffing one in Wufei's hands. "...." "No. I don't drink." Heero snorted. Quatre's lower lip trembled and he teared his eyes up to a puppy-dog fashion, "P..P..Please..?" Heero cringed. "...No." Quatre held back a smile, as now everyone was watching, even a silent Amber from a chair. "Heero..? Pleaseee??" "No..." Heero glared. Duo began to laugh, the eggnog all ready intoxicating him. "Just take a load off and take an eggnog." Wufei took a small sip, the taste to his liking resulting in more sips. Trowa walked to the television, kicking at it, trying to make it work. And Amber rolled her eyes, muttering something on how stupid guys get when they're drunk. Quatre got to his knees, eyes watering, "Please? Heero?? Pleasepleaseplease??" "NO!" Heero yelled. Quatre glanced at Amber and she grinned, a small spark in her eyes warning those around her that something was to come up. Quatre nodded and Amber stood, walked to Heero and pointed down at the eggnog on the tray next to Quatre. "I'm going to hold my breath. And I'm going to wait until you take an eggnog to breathe." She paused at Heero's glare, smiling, "And if I pass out, it was agreed by everyone else that you must give the C.P.R. And if you don't, when I eventually wake up, and I better, I'll strap you down and kiss you." Heero's eyes widened, "You wouldn't!" Duo's laughter only grew louder as a sudden shrill giggle emitted from Wufei, making Duo snort and laugh even harder. Amber smiled, her eyes narrowed in a cat-like way. "Oh... you know I would..." Heero glared his usual 'Death Glare,' "If you can catch me." "We'll see when it happens." Amber let out a breath, then stopped breathing. Trowa watched smirking, Quatre kept on his knees, and Wufei and Duo continued their shrill laughter. Heero stepped back, folding his arms. "Go ahead and make yourself pass out. Show's nothing but a weakness. You didn't even take a breath." "That was her point, Heero." Trowa answered quietly. Amber leaned against the counter, still not breathing. Heero didn't move or make a sound. Amber glanced to her side at Quatre nervously, but continued to keep her threat. Heero shook his head, "I couldn't care less." Although he did start to look a tinge worried when all the colour left from her face and she started to sway dizzily. Finally when she was looking extremely pale and about to pass out, Heero snapped. "Fine! I'll drink the damn drink!" She gasped for air, the colour of her face returning and taking in all the air she could with each breath. Then she slapped him, "You heartless, cynical jerk!" Heero glared, about to strangle her, but his hands were stuffed with the eggnog glass. He took a sip and his head spinned. In a good way. He took anouther sip and anouther, quite pleased with the taste of the eggnog. Duo's laughter stopped when he, too, continued to take a few more sips. Quatre offered Amber her eggnog and she took it, only pretending to take sips. Heero sat on the top of the couch, his words slurred, "Goo tee- ammmm.." Duo nodded, eyes slightly crossed, "We-ear win-n-n-n-n-n-ning." They cheered absent-mindedly at the blank T.V. screen. Amber watched, head tilted as Wufei had found Quatre's apron and ran around with red items, trying to wash them with the white apron to dye it pink, laughing insanely. Trowa leaned against the counter next to Amber, "And then I leaped! And back then, leaps were considered BIG things. Big things.. hm.." She tuned the rest of him out and glanced at Quatre, who, seemingly was doing the same thing she was doing- pretending to drink. "You're the only sober one, eh?" "And you." Quatre answered. Amber casted her eyes back to the couch to Heero and Duo, who were cheering loudly for some teams that never even existed to make a field goal. She shifted her glance at Wufei, who tripped and was sitting, laughing like a chipmunk on speed. Then she looked at Trowa, who was going on about a random, pointless story about the circus and big "things." "Men are such idiots." She sat herself down and opened a book, unaware of Heero and Duo's menacing whispers and giggles. Quatre blinked, about to say something when she was grabbed by the two drunken fools and dragged to the couch. "Loo-oo-ooo-ook! Thyyyy-eee g-aim ishhh overrr, cow-oo-n't do..ow..neh to nyu yearrrruh." Duo said happily. Then looked at Heero, who, stupidly finished the sentence. "Kiss for good luck?" Amber's eyes widened, "Touch me and die." When she tried to get up they kept her down on the couch. She looked back at Quatre, mouthing: Help. Not a chance, Quatre had slipped and was drinking his whole eggnog. She shoved the two pilots away and stood up, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'll kill you both if you dare kiss me." She paused, pointing at Heero like a mother would point to their bad child, "Especially you. Kiss a pillow or find a rock. But not me." Duo frowned, then pouted and started to whimper. Heero caught on and did the same thing. "No! Stop that! It won't work.. agh, for the love of... no! Stop it." "But... but..." "Silence! No! I'm not going to be kissed. Gross." Duo sniffled, then glanced to the side, spotting Wufei and laughed, "Wuuuuu-man! Can I have your apron?" Wufei threw the white apron off and threw it on Heero's head. Heero looked around slowly, then took the apron off of his head. Duo grabbed it and whispered to Heero. A spark of evil-ness shot through his eyes and he nodded. They both stood. Amber backed up, her eyes slightly expressing fear. "What... what are you two doing?" She demanded. Heero snickered, "Naaaaaaathiiiing." Amber backed herself into the wall, then glared at them. "Get away from me." Grabbing her by the wrists, Heero made sure she stood still as Duo wrapped the apron as a bound tightly around Amber. "Hey! What the..?! Quatre!! TROWA!! Make them stop!" She wailed. But her pleas and cries were unheard of as she was taken back to the kiss. "Freeeeeee.." Duo said happily. "Toe!" Heero exlcaimed. "ONE!" Duo answered and both kissed her on the cheek. Then moved over and took a turn on kissing her once on the lips. Amber yelled shrilly afterwards, "I'll kill you both!!" She managed to get out of the apron-ties and wiped her cheeks off, disgusted. She then wiped her mouth off with the back of her hands. "My god! You're both in so much trouble, I'll get you both back for this!!"  
  
The Next Morning  
  
"Augh..." Duo moaned, a horrid headache spreading through his brain. "What happened..." "Bout time you woke up." Heero said in a death tone. "Huh? Where are we?" Duo asked, rubbing his eyes. Heero crossed his arms, angry. "We're not at the safe-house. You know where we really are? In two bathroom stalls. I, myself, am missing my clothes." "What in hell are you talking abou- ...AHHHHHH! MY CLOTHING!? WHERE IS IT!?!?!" Duo cried. Slowly the door opened and someone walked into the bathroom. Duo fell quiet and so did Heero. They watched the pair of jeaned legs walk to their stalls and stand infront of them. Duo silently was thankful for the bathroom stalls with doors. "Missing something, guys?" Amber asked in a silk voice. "What are you doing in here!? This is for men!!" Duo yelled out, then held his head. "Ahng... What HAPPENED!?"  
  
"Wellllll.." Amber started, she clasped her hands behind her and swayed back and forth on her feet, "Last night during an electrical storm, the power went out. Everyone but me got drunk. It was New Years and apparantly you two had to kiss someone for good luck." "We didn't kiss eachother did we!??!?!" Duo screamed. "No! No.." Amber glared, "You two kissed ME." "Ah... Well, that's oka-... YOU!?" Heero shouted. "Yes. Me. And now that I am satisfied with my revenge. I will, ah, see you back at the Safe House, no?" Amber asked, then turned to leave. "NO! WAIT!" Duo cried out, "What about our clothing!?" "You will just have to find a way to get out of this mall on yourselves. I'll be seeing you." Amber answered and smiled to herself, leaving the bathroom just before any other guy had walked in.  
  
~Owari~ 


End file.
